Blog Archives

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 263 (or Generation XBox)


During a recent holiday gathering with the family of your significant other, you decide to educate the youngsters playing Minecraft and Lego Batman video games on an XBox 360 by telling them about the Super Nintendo you had at their age (which you still own) as well as other old systems such as the original Nintendo and first generation Playstation.

Upon listening to your history lesson of 1990s video games, one of your grammar school-aged audience members responds, “You must have a museum of legendary old video games.”

You fail to then point out, however, that such a thought is a rather generous assessment of being a nerd in your thirties.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 230 (or musical “nesting dolls” of the mind…)


While on your lunch break at work, you come to a startling realization.  You not only have one song in your head, but several at the same time.  These multiple tunes, competing for musical dominance, have blended into a single amalgamated “mega song” consisting of the following source material:

Rush’s Fly By Night; the original Mario Bros. video game theme; Stuck in the Middle With You by Gerry Rafferty (Stealers Wheel); and Led Zeppelin’s No Quarter.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 223 (or “Hey, that’s not what I meant by ‘role playing games’!”)


You actually had a conversation with someone long ago about dating and relationships in which the other person used RPG video game terminology to make an analogy.  Not only was the advice unhelpful, but you still marvel at the sheer number of RPG references it contained, including the word “chocobo,” which a bird from the Final Fantasy video game series.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 217 (or Atari safari)


Though you have yet to attempt to play it (and have not seen anyone turn it on), the place at which you intern has an Atari 2600, complete with controllers and multiple game cartridges in one of the break rooms.  Each time you pass by it, you feel a warm sense of nostalgia.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 176 (or not so final fantasies)


You recently said, “When I was a kid, the Final Fantasy video game sequels were still in the single digits.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 160 (or HULU voodoo)


You are slightly concerned that you’ve been brainwashed by the commercials on HULU because after seeing the same advertisement for the Max Payne 3 video game played at least thirty times in a row while you were watching a mini-marathon of various television shows on HULU, you ended up purchasing the Max Payne 3 video game.

But I ask, if anyone saw the following video thirty times, would they not be tempted?

*PARENTAL ADVISORY SUGGESTED*

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 114 (or “Spray it, don’t say it!”)


You log onto the Playstation Network and see an advertisement for Axe Body Spray, which is promoting the product’s first graphic novel.  You then laugh so hard at the sight of this that you knock over your PS3 remote.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 101


You have a conversation with someone, which begins with you stating, “I need to buy a new winter coat,” and ends with the other person exclaiming, “For the last time, get a real coat… video game apparel doesn’t count!”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 70


When the Kinect was first announced for the XBox 360, this scene from Back to the Future: Part II immediately came to mind.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 61


You’ve had the following thought at least once: “Comic Con might be a great place to meet women.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 48


You would describe yourself as having the heart of a Krogan, the mind of a Salarian, and because of your allergies, the immune system of a Quarian. Keelah se’lai!

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 40


You wish that Facebook would allow users to “Check-In” at hypothetical locations, as you would love nothing more than to post, “Drinking with a Krogan and a Turian on the Citadel.”

Not to forget Tron over Mass Effect, you would also wish to post, “Greetings, programs… heading on over to the End of Line Club.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 31


The first two words in the following television guide description for a showing of the film version of Mortal Kombat cause you to burst out laughing: “Smart Earthlings must win a martial-arts battle in another dimension or see their world enslaved.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 30


You reward yourself for finishing a graduate school assignment ahead of schedule by staying up all night, playing Mass Effect 2 for the second time, taking advantage of all of the extra missions you downloaded after beating the game the first time around.

“World of Warcraft” & Chinese economy, or WoW: WTF?


Apparently, selling virtual goods and services in World of Warcraft is more profitable in China than the actual economy.

Full story.

“Waiting For Godot: The Video Game”


The world’s first existentialist video game… if you don’t count Pong.

Are violent video games preparing kids for the apocalypse?


A humorous look at the long-held debate over the potential influence of violent video games, as put forth by The Onion News Network on IFC.

“First Person Mario” brings a new perspective to a classic video game


This is a brilliant rendering of Nintendo’s classic Super Mario Bros video game from Mario’s viewpoint.

Thoughts?