During a recent holiday gathering with the family of your significant other, you decide to educate the youngsters playing Minecraft and Lego Batman video games on an XBox 360 by telling them about the Super Nintendo you had at their age (which you still own) as well as other old systems such as the original Nintendo and first generation Playstation.
Upon listening to your history lesson of 1990s video games, one of your grammar school-aged audience members responds, “You must have a museum of legendary old video games.”
You fail to then point out, however, that such a thought is a rather generous assessment of being a nerd in your thirties.
While on your lunch break at work, you come to a startling realization. You not only have one song in your head, but several at the same time. These multiple tunes, competing for musical dominance, have blended into a single amalgamated “mega song” consisting of the following source material:
Rush’s Fly By Night; the original Mario Bros. video game theme; Stuck in the Middle With You by Gerry Rafferty (Stealers Wheel); and Led Zeppelin’s No Quarter.
Though you have yet to attempt to play it (and have not seen anyone turn it on), the place at which you intern has an Atari 2600, complete with controllers and multiple game cartridges in one of the break rooms. Each time you pass by it, you feel a warm sense of nostalgia.
You recently said, “When I was a kid, the Final Fantasy video game sequels were still in the single digits.”
You are slightly concerned that you’ve been brainwashed by the commercials on HULU because after seeing the same advertisement for the Max Payne 3 video game played at least thirty times in a row while you were watching a mini-marathon of various television shows on HULU, you ended up purchasing the Max Payne 3 video game.
But I ask, if anyone saw the following video thirty times, would they not be tempted?
*PARENTAL ADVISORY SUGGESTED*
You log onto the Playstation Network and see an advertisement for Axe Body Spray, which is promoting the product’s first graphic novel. You then laugh so hard at the sight of this that you knock over your PS3 remote.
You have a conversation with someone, which begins with you stating, “I need to buy a new winter coat,” and ends with the other person exclaiming, “For the last time, get a real coat… video game apparel doesn’t count!”
When the Kinect was first announced for the XBox 360, this scene from Back to the Future: Part II immediately came to mind.
You’ve had the following thought at least once: “Comic Con might be a great place to meet women.”
You would describe yourself as having the heart of a Krogan, the mind of a Salarian, and because of your allergies, the immune system of a Quarian. Keelah se’lai!
You wish that Facebook would allow users to “Check-In” at hypothetical locations, as you would love nothing more than to post, “Drinking with a Krogan and a Turian on the Citadel.”
Not to forget Tron over Mass Effect, you would also wish to post, “Greetings, programs… heading on over to the End of Line Club.”
The first two words in the following television guide description for a showing of the film version of Mortal Kombat cause you to burst out laughing: “Smart Earthlings must win a martial-arts battle in another dimension or see their world enslaved.”
You reward yourself for finishing a graduate school assignment ahead of schedule by staying up all night, playing Mass Effect 2 for the second time, taking advantage of all of the extra missions you downloaded after beating the game the first time around.
Apparently, selling virtual goods and services in World of Warcraft is more profitable in China than the actual economy.
The world’s first existentialist video game… if you don’t count Pong.
A humorous look at the long-held debate over the potential influence of violent video games, as put forth by The Onion News Network on IFC.
This is a brilliant rendering of Nintendo’s classic Super Mario Bros video game from Mario’s viewpoint.