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How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 242 (or “The Dark Tower” and interpersonal relationships…)


You have realized that how well you get along with a person seems to have a correlation between the ratio of how much that person likes Stephen King’s Dark Tower novels and how much that person dislikes Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 241 (or “Bowfinger” did it first…)


Having read the first book and seen the first movie in the Twilight Saga, and loathed both with a passion, you have avoided the work of Stephenie Meyer and the subsequent film adaptations that have occurred.  As such, when you first saw the trailer (provided below) for the film adaptation of Meyer’s supposed “science fiction” novel, The Host, you were shocked.

Why the shock? While you haven’t read the book, you have seen the film Bowfinger, a comedy in which a terrible director secretly films a famous actor without his knowledge in order to make a science fiction film called Chubby Rain, about aliens invading Earth via raindrops.

Thus, you exclaimed, “I can’t believe it… The Host is basically Chubby Rain being filmed for real!”

Behold, and judge for yourself.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 201 (or RiffTrax and sparkling vampires )


When a friend tells you that they’ve reluctantly agreed to placate another friend by viewing all of the Twilight Saga films, you suggest that they decree a caveat to this arrangement in order to tolerate the experience.  Specifically, you suggest that they only agree to watch the films if it can be done in conjunction with the corresponding RiffTrax audio commentaries, in which the individuals known best for Mystery Science Theater 3000 make fun of these movies.

In an alternate universe: Event 3


In an alternate universe, the Twilight Saga ends with a team of vampire slayers destroying everyone. In yet another universe, the first book disappeared into obscurity, spawning no sequels.