Blog Archives

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 266 (or Wedding “Clashers”)

While serving as a groomsman at the wedding of a long-time friend, casual conversation with your fellow groomsman evolved into an elaborate, comedic brainstorming session of hypothetical wedding plans for your future possible nuptials.  Ideas put forth included the following elements: a luche libre mask, a Klingon bat’leth, a bouncy castle, chimpanzees, a multilingual officiant who speaks High Valyrian, and Danzig songs.

To the chagrin of your significant other, part of you finds the Klingon bat’leth idea intriguing and the Danzig music an interesting choice for the reception.


How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 253 (or Photographic priorities and state fairs)

Upon a recent visit to the State Fair of Texas with your significant other, you unintentionally surprise those who requested pictures of your time spent there by not taking photographs of anyone.

Instead, your interpretation of their request results in a day at the fair represented by three photos of the U.S.S. Enterprise from Star Trek: The Original Series created using string art.

Yet to you, they still represent a great day that you shall never forget.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 210 (or Back in “Bakula”)

Several years ago, you were romantically interested in someone, but were stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” for many months.  The person in whom you were interested began dating someone else, who was supposedly “just like you.”  In fact, it was the other person’s wish that you befriend their new significant other.  You genuinely attempt to honor this wish.  However, the conversation develops as follows:

OTHER PERSON: “You two really ought to be friends.  You have a lot in common.”

YOU: “Really?  What might that be?”

OTHER PERSON: “You like the same nerdy stuff.  Take Star Trek, for instance.  He’s just as much a fan as you are and he’s really astute.  I can see the two of you conversing for hours.”

YOU: “Alright, ask him this question for me and we’ll see how astute he is… What does he think of the theme song to the Star Trek series called Enterprise?”

*time elapses*

OTHER PERSON: “He loves the theme song.  He thinks it’s catchy.”

YOU: “In that case, I’m afraid our Star Trek conversation has ended before it began.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 166 (or trippy “Trek” meets techno “Trek”)

You find each of the following Star Trek music videos amusing…

A bit of old…

A bit of new…

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 157 (or watching my language…)

In the course of a single, casual conversation with a fellow science fiction fan, you employed the use of words and phrases from multiple science fiction and fantasy franchises.  This included: several words in Klingon, two phrases from Farscape, words specific to Firefly, and several phrases from Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. 

Furthermore, you made a point of being the one to utilize references to the Dark Tower because the individual to whom you were speaking stubbornly refuses to read those books.  Normally, you wouldn’t mind, but that person is basing their decision entirely on the basis of reading a Wikipedia synopsis of the books, which led to the misguided declaration that they seem “uninteresting.” 

Therefore, you get a bit of selfish pleasure when you accuse your compatriot of forgetting the face of their father, and you hear, “What are you talking about?”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 140 (or warp speed and womanizing)

You’ve decided that in an alternate universe, you are a lieutenant commander in Starfleet, who is quickly gaining a reputation as a brilliant tactical officer (as well as an accomplished lothario, who has left a trail of swooning partners from Risa to Qo’noS).

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 122 (or cartoons and character building via “Star Trek”)

You’ve decided long ago that if you were a cartoon, you most likely would not have an angel and a devil appear when trying to make a moral or ethical decision.  Instead you’d have a Klingon and a Vulcan on one shoulder with a Romulan and a Ferengi on the other shoulder.

In an alternate universe: Event 12

In an alternate universe,  the first person to purpose the idea of college students playing, “Muggle Quidditch” is immediately dismissed as being foolish when it is pointed out that quidditch was created to be played by wizards flying around on broomsticks in a work of fantasy.

After responding, “Ya know, you’ve got a point there,” that person forever abandons the idea, in favor of bringing to life the game of Parrises Squares, created for the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 71

An ex-girlfriend bought you a Star Trek T-shirt as a birthday present that was made to resemble Captain Kirk’s uniform from the original series. She then proceeded to tell you, “Ya know, now that I see you in that shirt, it occurs to me that gold isn’t a very flattering color on you.”

Your relationship ended one month later…

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 60

Each time you come across the word, “nexus,” you immediately think of Star Trek: Generations.

“Star Trek” not going boldly where they’ve gone several times before…

Studio executives emphatically reject ideas for a new Star Trek television series (even from Wiliam T. Riker, himself) in favor of focusing on the current films.

Full story.

“Star Trek” meets “Monty Python”

This video is awesome on many, many levels.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 10

You’ve had several dreams oriented around Star Trek, across all of the show’s franchises, as well as all of the films.

The Smartphone Quandary

Is it wrong to think of my smartphone as my own personal tricorder? In my defense, I have a periodic table app…

I give you Balok… thank you “Star Trek”

Balok: the most amusing original series Star Trek character that ever was…

A Theory…

I’ve often thought that TV shows and films are representative of possible alternate realities. This would mean that Star Trek might exist in some form. Unfortunately, this means Twilight would exist, too. For every positive, there is a horrible mind-draining, soul-sucking negative.