Monthly Archives: March 2013
You have realized that how well you get along with a person seems to have a correlation between the ratio of how much that person likes Stephen King’s Dark Tower novels and how much that person dislikes Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Saga.
Having read the first book and seen the first movie in the Twilight Saga, and loathed both with a passion, you have avoided the work of Stephenie Meyer and the subsequent film adaptations that have occurred. As such, when you first saw the trailer (provided below) for the film adaptation of Meyer’s supposed “science fiction” novel, The Host, you were shocked.
Why the shock? While you haven’t read the book, you have seen the film Bowfinger, a comedy in which a terrible director secretly films a famous actor without his knowledge in order to make a science fiction film called Chubby Rain, about aliens invading Earth via raindrops.
Thus, you exclaimed, “I can’t believe it… The Host is basically Chubby Rain being filmed for real!”
Behold, and judge for yourself.
Someone interrupts you while you are watching Vikings on the History Channel, saying, “For a second, it looked like you were watching Sons of Anarchy,” to which you reply:
“Actually, one could say that Norse Vikings were the Medieval equivalent of biker gangs… awesome beards and hair included.”
*Yes, I know, two consecutive Vikings posts. I couldn’t resist. I cry your pardon… a little.*
You have become so enthusiastic about the History Channel’s new scripted historical drama, Vikings, that you have decided that any second dog you get in the future will be named “Ragnar Lothbrok” after the show’s main character. You find it amusing and cool to treat this full Viking name as a first name for a pet, as you want to one day routinely say:
(1) “Come here Ragnar Lothbrok.” (2) “Where are you Ragnar Lothbrok?” (3) “Ragnar Lothbrok, it’s time for a walk.” (4) “Ragnar Lothbrok doesn’t like that cat who keeps coming around. He keeps growling at it.”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 238 (or “Is that a Kindle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Oh, that’s a Kindle… never mind, then”)
You often volunteer the number of novels you read last year when trying to impress someone in a dating situation, only to realize that half the time it makes you look as if you have no social life, and the other half, your potential date has no response at all.