Monthly Archives: June 2012

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 178 (or “Mikey likes it…”)


Without explicitly attributing it as such, you posted the following quote from the film Weekend at Bernie’s II on Facebook because it amused you that people might misconstrue it as a quote from the new (seemingly ridiculous) male stripper dramatic film Magic Mike, starring Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey:

“We used a pigeon when we should have used a chicken.  That’s why he can only move when the music’s playing.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 177 (or fun with English language grammar euphemisms)


In an informal contest during college, in which the goal was to come up with the cheesiest pick-up line, you devised one based on English language grammar involving dangling participles.  However, you never actually used the line on anyone, as you were raised better than to do so.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 176 (or not so final fantasies)


You recently said, “When I was a kid, the Final Fantasy video game sequels were still in the single digits.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 175 (or films, fun facts, and fiestas)


Due to the fact that you use your smartphone to investigate any information that might be in the “trivia” section of the IMBD.com entry for every movie you watch, someone recently nicknamed you I.M.D.B. Cooper.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 174 (or “Monkeys’ brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.”)


You recently realized that you can recite large sections of dialogue from the Tim Curry comedy Clue because you have seen it over 100 times since childhood.

Furthermore, you have now decided that if you were to have an artificial intelligence program at your disposal, your second choice after the name Oberon, would be to call it Wadsworth and have it sound and look like Tim Curry’s character from Clue.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 173 (or playing the wild card)


You once purposefully gave someone a card for their birthday that wished the recipient a happy wedding anniversary.  Another time, you gave someone a “Happy Birthday Grandma” card.  The recipient was male and in his 20s.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 172 (or “The power is yours!”)


When rediscovering a long-lost college ring, you begin wearing it.  It then occurs to you that the ring makes you look like one of Captain Planet’s Planeteers.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 171 (or the boogey man and birthday wishes)


Your idea of a fun birthday activity is to watch a personally planned marathon of supernatural films including The House of the Devil, The Innkeepers, and The Serpent and the Rainbow.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 170 (or no “ordinary” family)


You are under the age of 30 and have said the following: “Awesome… they’re showing Ordinary People!”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 169 (or monkey movie madness)


Whenever the 1988 George A. Romero film Monkey Shines is on television you find yourself compelled to watch it.  After all, who doesn’t enjoy a movie about a paralyzed man who is tormented by a scientifically altered helper monkey upon its developing a possessive attachment to the man it is intended to assist?

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 168 (or a man’s speech patterns)


You have (on multiple occasions) adopted the speech habits of Jaqen H’ghar of the Faceless Men, in which the word “I” is replaced with the phrase “a man.”  As such, you have found yourself speaking to people as follows:

“A man wonders when the next A Song of Ice and Fire novel will be released.  A man is tired of waiting.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 167 (or love and a golden breastplate)


You had a dream in which a nameless online dating site matched you with a woman wearing a golden breastplate who is wielding a sword.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 166 (or trippy “Trek” meets techno “Trek”)


You find each of the following Star Trek music videos amusing…

A bit of old…

A bit of new…

In an alternate universe: Event 15 (or a different kind of “Taxi Driver”)


In an alternate universe, the Martin Scorsese film Taxi Driver has a different feel to it, as all of the taxi drivers in New York City drive rickshaws instead of automobiles.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 165 (or library books of the “Long Sun”)


You have begun using your university’s inter-library loan system to request science fiction novels during semester breaks.  The first book you requested was Litany of the Long Sun, which is the the first half of Gene Wolfe’s Book of the Long Sun in one volume.