Monthly Archives: May 2011

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 46

The following tweet from comedian, @DanaJGould makes you laugh: “The title ‘Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman’ doesn’t really promise a ton of action. ‘Oh my God. They’re gonna meet!'”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 45

Your Facebook page includes quotes from Robert E. Howard, Albert Einstein, Frank Herbert, and George Carlin.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 44

You once had to break up with someone, partly due to your extreme allergy to their pets.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 43

You decide to take revenge on someone who insists on talking about historical facts during a war movie, rather than focusing on actually watching the film, by repeatedly interrupting them with the question, “Hey, is that Bob Crane?”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 42

You had a lucid dream, which you controlled through a graphical user interface (GUI) that you conjured up during the dream.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 41

Whenever you think of Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament, this scene from the film The Cable Guy comes to mind.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 40

You wish that Facebook would allow users to “Check-In” at hypothetical locations, as you would love nothing more than to post, “Drinking with a Krogan and a Turian on the Citadel.”

Not to forget Tron over Mass Effect, you would also wish to post, “Greetings, programs… heading on over to the End of Line Club.”

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 39

Watching this video on physics, as found in the new My Little Pony cartoon, causes great amusement. You are impressed by its shear cleverness, as well.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 38

You view eating lunch at a Thai food restaurant as a prelude celebration of the impending Hangover 2 release.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 37

Upon hearing someone refer to Tron Legacy as essentially nothing more than a 90 minute Daft Punk music video, part of you wanted to slap them with a glove across their cheek and challenge them to a Victorian duel at ten paces, using water balloons.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 36

Every time you see Peter Facinelli’s character, Dr. Fitch Cooper, on the Showtime original series Nurse Jackie, you keep thinking to yourself, “This is what it would’ve been like if Bill Blazejowski had decided to go to medical school.”

* NOTE: Bill Blazejowski is Michael Keaton’s character from the 1982 Ron Howard movie, Night Shift. (If you knew this fact beforehand, and are under the age of 50, you can count this as an additional method for “how to tell you’re a nerd”). 

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 35

While standing in line at a grocery store, you suddenly realize that you’re performing small dance moves absentmindedly because a muzak version of Walk Don’t Run by the Ventures is playing in the store, and your body seems to automatically respond to 1960s surf music (even though you’re only in your late 20s).

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 34

You’ve used the word “nerd-gasm” to describe your enthusiasm regarding historical documents.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 33

Upon adding a Bill Hicks stand-up performance to your Netflix Instant Queue, you become extremely offended that Netflix would dare suggest that a Jamie Kennedy DVD was “similar” to Bill Hicks in any way.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 32

This instantly became one of your favorite songs, upon first hearing it.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 31

The first two words in the following television guide description for a showing of the film version of Mortal Kombat cause you to burst out laughing: “Smart Earthlings must win a martial-arts battle in another dimension or see their world enslaved.”

A science fiction PSA

Chances are, if you’re writing a science fiction story about alien invaders that rely on ripping out human brains to power their technology, you are a moron. Yes, writers of the film Skyline, this is directed at you, specifically.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 30

You reward yourself for finishing a graduate school assignment ahead of schedule by staying up all night, playing Mass Effect 2 for the second time, taking advantage of all of the extra missions you downloaded after beating the game the first time around.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 29

You find it tragic that Syfy is taking Stargate Universe off of the air, while having the audacity to try and bolster the detritus that is Sanctuary.

How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 28

You hear of a club holding an open mic stand-up comedy night, and you immediately start planning to go there and perform, despite never having attempted stand-up comedy in your entire life.