Several years ago, you were romantically interested in someone, but were stuck in the dreaded “friend zone” for many months. The person in whom you were interested began dating someone else, who was supposedly “just like you.” In fact, it was the other person’s wish that you befriend their new significant other. You genuinely attempt to honor this wish. However, the conversation develops as follows:
OTHER PERSON: “You two really ought to be friends. You have a lot in common.”
YOU: “Really? What might that be?”
OTHER PERSON: “You like the same nerdy stuff. Take Star Trek, for instance. He’s just as much a fan as you are and he’s really astute. I can see the two of you conversing for hours.”
YOU: “Alright, ask him this question for me and we’ll see how astute he is… What does he think of the theme song to the Star Trek series called Enterprise?”
OTHER PERSON: “He loves the theme song. He thinks it’s catchy.”
YOU: “In that case, I’m afraid our Star Trek conversation has ended before it began.”
You find each of the following Star Trek music videos amusing…
A bit of old…
A bit of new…
In the course of a single, casual conversation with a fellow science fiction fan, you employed the use of words and phrases from multiple science fiction and fantasy franchises. This included: several words in Klingon, two phrases from Farscape, words specific to Firefly, and several phrases from Stephen King’s Dark Tower series.
Furthermore, you made a point of being the one to utilize references to the Dark Tower because the individual to whom you were speaking stubbornly refuses to read those books. Normally, you wouldn’t mind, but that person is basing their decision entirely on the basis of reading a Wikipedia synopsis of the books, which led to the misguided declaration that they seem “uninteresting.”
Therefore, you get a bit of selfish pleasure when you accuse your compatriot of forgetting the face of their father, and you hear, “What are you talking about?”
You’ve decided that in an alternate universe, you are a lieutenant commander in Starfleet, who is quickly gaining a reputation as a brilliant tactical officer (as well as an accomplished lothario, who has left a trail of swooning partners from Risa to Qo’noS).
You’ve decided long ago that if you were a cartoon, you most likely would not have an angel and a devil appear when trying to make a moral or ethical decision. Instead you’d have a Klingon and a Vulcan on one shoulder with a Romulan and a Ferengi on the other shoulder.
In an alternate universe, the first person to purpose the idea of college students playing, “Muggle Quidditch” is immediately dismissed as being foolish when it is pointed out that quidditch was created to be played by wizards flying around on broomsticks in a work of fantasy.
After responding, “Ya know, you’ve got a point there,” that person forever abandons the idea, in favor of bringing to life the game of Parrises Squares, created for the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation.
An ex-girlfriend bought you a Star Trek T-shirt as a birthday present that was made to resemble Captain Kirk’s uniform from the original series. She then proceeded to tell you, “Ya know, now that I see you in that shirt, it occurs to me that gold isn’t a very flattering color on you.”
Your relationship ended one month later…
Each time you come across the word, “nexus,” you immediately think of Star Trek: Generations.
Studio executives emphatically reject ideas for a new Star Trek television series (even from Wiliam T. Riker, himself) in favor of focusing on the current films.
You’ve had several dreams oriented around Star Trek, across all of the show’s franchises, as well as all of the films.
Is it wrong to think of my smartphone as my own personal tricorder? In my defense, I have a periodic table app…
Balok: the most amusing original series Star Trek character that ever was…