Blog Archives
How to tell your’re a nerd: Method 237 (or Facebook and temporal confusion)
You realize from recent experience that staying off of Facebook for three months and then finally signing back in is disorienting in much the same way as being suddenly transported into the future (or woken from a coma). You find out that you have missed major events that had only been shared as status updates, not unlike the following:
Engagements; pregnancies; new pets; friends who have moved, changed careers, or become vegan; new hairstyles, beards, and tattoos; as well as grown men who are nearly 30 years old, suddenly going from liking heavy metal to posting cringe-worthy statements in favor of the musical sound of the band Fun.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 230 (or musical “nesting dolls” of the mind…)
While on your lunch break at work, you come to a startling realization. You not only have one song in your head, but several at the same time. These multiple tunes, competing for musical dominance, have blended into a single amalgamated “mega song” consisting of the following source material:
Rush’s Fly By Night; the original Mario Bros. video game theme; Stuck in the Middle With You by Gerry Rafferty (Stealers Wheel); and Led Zeppelin’s No Quarter.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 219 (or “Faces” and bad places)
During a casual conversation about music, you made the following statement:
“The only thing more annoying than Rod Stewart was Rod Stewart in the band Faces.”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 213 (or “Straight out of ENCOM…”)
Upon viewing the following video, you exclaim, “This describes everything great about Tron in under five minutes…”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 195 (or parodies in the name of the Eld)
Someone catches you singing a song under your breath and asks, “Are you singing Addicted to Love?” You then explain that you were actually singing a Dark Tower-inspired parody song you thought up (but have yet to complete) called Addicted to Lud.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 166 (or trippy “Trek” meets techno “Trek”)
You find each of the following Star Trek music videos amusing…
A bit of old…
A bit of new…
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 164 (or old school thrillers and soundtrack searches)
You spent an entire afternoon (to no avail) searching online for a compact disc or legal mp3 file featuring the song “Red Harvest” by Paul Saax, used in the opening and closing credits of a 1988 thriller starring James Spader called Jack’s Back.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 154 (or a joke or two…)
When someone posts a vague, negative post on Facebook alluding to having a bad day and/or lamenting about their life, you always think the following:
If you’re going to use Facebook as a platform for complaining, at least be funny about it. It’s the least you could do.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 139 (or dragon tattoo removal)
Determined to resist the literary fad of reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and its sequels, but tired of defending yourself to fans of the series (while remembering the horrors you suffered by reading the detritus that is the first book in the The Twilight Saga) you’ve decided to answer, “Have you read those books yet?” with the following response:
“I’m waiting for the posthumous spin-off series, The Girl with the Tattoo of Sean Connery Wielding a Flaming Sword While Riding a Crimson Pegasus Charging Toward Michael Caine Who is Carrying a Crossbow While Mounted on a Centaur that is Actually Weird Al Yankovic (Circa 1989) from the Waist Up.”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 86
You just realized that even after all these years, you can recite the complete lyrics of the Captain Planet cartoon theme song.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 80
You become visibly animated and yell, “Victory!” upon successfully utilizing Netflix to track down a 1993 Saturday Night Live sketch called “Teen Band” from a Halloween episode hosted by Christian Slater, because you have described this sketch to countless people since it first aired but have not actually seen it in 18 years.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 67
When most people in your high school were listening to Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock, you were making futile attempts to get your friends to listen to Jethro Tull, saying things like, “Ian Anderson’s flute solo is mind-blowing.”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 65
After viewing the trailer for the remake of Fright Night, you looked up and purchased the song featured in it because you thought it was catchy and brooding. So, you now own My Turn to Evil by Letters Vs. Numbers (even though you had never heard of Letters Vs. Numbers).
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 53
You own vinyl records, are under the age of 30, and you are not a disc jockey.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 37
Upon hearing someone refer to Tron Legacy as essentially nothing more than a 90 minute Daft Punk music video, part of you wanted to slap them with a glove across their cheek and challenge them to a Victorian duel at ten paces, using water balloons.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 35
While standing in line at a grocery store, you suddenly realize that you’re performing small dance moves absentmindedly because a muzak version of Walk Don’t Run by the Ventures is playing in the store, and your body seems to automatically respond to 1960s surf music (even though you’re only in your late 20s).
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 32
This instantly became one of your favorite songs, upon first hearing it.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 26
During a power outage, you decide to listen to an album by Giant Squid on your iPod because you find the experience surreal and entertaining.
When you’re down, try some Bowie
David Bowie’s Space Oddity…because sometimes we all need a little pick-me-up in our lives.
