How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 227 (or “A science fantasy franchise is sold to a company founded by a crogenically frozen cartoonist…”)
Upon discovering that George Lucas sold the rights to the Star Wars franchise to the Walt Disney Co., to “ensure” the future of the franchise, as Lucas looks toward retirement, you have the following response:
“Well, this might lead to interesting improvements because as far as I’m concerned, the worst thing to happen to the legacy of Star Wars was George Lucas, himself.”
You find watching episodes of Columbo quite relaxing, and often state that the show is “like a glass of warm milk.”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 202 (or “Is that a rocket-pack strapped to your back, or are you just happy to see me?” )
You are somewhat enthused upon reading that Disney is considering a remake of the 1991 film The Rocketeer because you were always a fan of that movie, having actually seen it in the theater “back in the day” (although, you freely admit that you may be biased as you were mesmerized by Jennifer Connelly the first time you saw it).
You’ve begun to amuse yourself when watching episodes of ABC’s Once Upon A Time that do not feature Robert Carlyle by combining the events of the show with the film Vanilla Sky in your head. This means that you basically see the show as a giant dream manufactured by Walt Disney’s mind, in order to keep his brain active during his cryogenic preservation. You find your version of the show more entertaining as this would explain the heavily utilized Disney character motifs, while also using the character of Henry as a stand-in for Walt Disney’s consciousness as he is aware that the townsfolk in the show are actually fairy tale characters.
You never imagined that you would be a regular viewer of ABC’s Once Upon A Time, seeing as how it is largely a Disney promotional engine structured loosely in the same storytelling style as Lost. However, Robert Carlyle’s performance as Rumpelstiltskin is so layered, creepy, and compelling that this one actor is enough to keep you tuning in each week, regardless of what might be occurring with the rest of the show.
Thus, you realize that the following idea must be true: “Robert Carlyle makes everything better.”