Your knowledge of various mythologies (Norse, Greek, etc.) primarily comes from college classes and the works of Neil Gaiman.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 221 (or “Is that a rocket in your pocket… or are you just happy to see me?”)
You discover that you make the same excited, cheering noises that most sports fans do, but only when watching things like the following movie trailer for the upcoming Iron Man 3 film. Bonus: Shane Black (the father of the modern action film) was involved with the script.
While out on a lunch break, you are so startled that you drop your smartphone when you behold a man walk past you who exactly resembles Commissioner Gordon, as he appears in Batman: The Animated Series. You then have to consciously keep yourself from yelling, “Yo, Commissioner! Where’s The Bat?”
While visiting your cousin and her children at a local community swimming pool, you find yourself greatly distracted by the arrival of a rather buxom blonde woman in her mid 20s, who is wearing a Batman bikini.
When you haven’t seen your brother in awhile, you greet him by quoting from the Chris Farley film Tommy Boy, exclaiming, “Brothers don’t shake hands! Brothers gotta hug!”
Having never taken an interest in the Swamp Thing comic books, you develop a desire to read the Alan Moore version of the series after hearing someone talk about it for five minutes. A critical component in the genesis of this new-found interest was the assertion that even though Moore’s version is not considered part of the main Swamp Thing canon, many consider it to be the superior work in the series.
For years, you have maintained that Christopher Lloyd would have made a great Mr. Freeze, which is one of the many reasons that you lament the film Batman & Robin.
In fact, the only good thing you can say about that movie is a funny memory of seeing it in a movie theater back in 1997. In the scene where Robin peals away some sort of lip wax he had secretly applied to prevent Poison Ivy’s kiss from killing him, an audience member screamed, “Bat Lips!”
More than one person has commented that you are like a character from the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory, about a group of friends who are nerdy science academics. Unfortunately, a case can be made for comparison between yourself and more than one of the characters, thanks to examples not unlike the following:
Within the course of two hours, during a Christmas function in December 2011, your “go-to” conversation topics consisted of historical trivia about Theodore Roosevelt, two jokes related to quantum physics, an explanation of issues related to your seasonal allergies, a discussion of a comedy sketch you wrote for an as-yet-to-be-filmed Web-based sketch comedy project for which you were asked to collaborate, and Batman.
You log onto the Playstation Network and see an advertisement for Axe Body Spray, which is promoting the product’s first graphic novel. You then laugh so hard at the sight of this that you knock over your PS3 remote.
You turned down going to see a retrospective theatrical showing of Tim Burton’s 1989 film, Batman, because you had to get up early the next morning to attend an eight-hour library science course lecture on a Saturday. A lone, sad cry is then heard in the back of your mind as your 1989 counterpart (who saw the film in a theater with your dad as a father/ son outing) sends you a psychic message of his disapproval and perceived betrayal on your part toward the memory of your childhood.
Knowing that you are on a date, your best friend decides that it would be funny to keep texting you random images of The Joker from Batman comics every few minutes. You then have to explain to your rather intimidatingly attractive date why you keep getting text messages so often, all the while hoping that she finds it amusing rather than weird that a grown man (who had been given the nickname Joker by you a few years ago) is sending comic book images to another grown man.
Your method of dealing with rejection is to finish reading the Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman… and it actually makes you feel better about the situation.
The main reason you watch the Syfy original series Haven is to catch Stephen King multiverse Easter eggs (hidden references), secretly hoping for as many Dark Tower references as possible. You also think the shows’ chosen depiction of Pennywise the Dancing Clown in his brief appearance was rather lame and disappointing.
You wish life were like comic books, thereby allowing you to retcon awkward conversations with the opposite sex in social situations so you can seem more charming.
You’ve had the following thought at least once: “Comic Con might be a great place to meet women.”
When the film Country Strong was first released, you kept harping that the film’s title sounded like a political speech that might theoretically be given by The Incredible Hulk.
Yet again, we at Nerd Odyssey have scoured the multiverse to provide a hypothetical list of henchmen/ women names that inspire more laughter than fear. This is Part 4 of 4 in our Hero and Villain: Hypothetical Multiverse series, in which we provide the Part 3 villains followed, in bold, by their corresponding henchperson.
We welcome comments from you, the avid reader, as to powers that fit with the names we provide below.
1. Germin’ + Double Dutch, Toil, and Trouble
2. The Fishmonger + Angry Angler
3. Eenie the Meanie + Sticky Vicky
4. cats + kittens
5. Skid Mark + Traitor Vic
6. Rainbow Blight + The Careless Bears
7. The Hamburglar Burglar + The Beaf Thief
8. The Lickin’ Lawyer + Liar Lyre
9. Bisque Master + Sham Chowder
10. Astronaughty + Nebu-lusty
11. Danny McBride of Frankenstein + The Creature of Crab Rangoon
12. The Pickle Wench + Harem Potter
13. Scary Busey + Keanu Reaver
14. Robert Q. Zombie + Simon Scowl
15. The Touch + Numb Crumb
16. Chris-R + AC Slaughter
17. Placebo the Clown + The Nippler
18. Guraknok the Christmas Golem + Kratoki the Jin of Valentine’s Day Deceit
19. Deadliest Catch + The Coal Minor
20. The Goo Goo Dolls + The Spin Doctors
21. Blame Game + Grime Mime
22. Shark Week + Sweeps
23. The Beast With Two Backs + The Horizontal Mambo Kings
24. The Paradise Lost Boys + Corie Shame
25. Peeps + Rude ‘n Plenty
26. Yanni Cage + Sub Gyro
27. The Mailman of Mordor + Marty McFly-Swatter
28. Chef Voyeur-D + The Three Telemarketeers
29. Ms. Floppy Arms + John Jacob Jingleheimer Smite
30. The Pixie Dust Brothers + Chemical Bother
31. Brink! + The Cheap Skater
32. Bilbo Baggin’ It + Mad Cardigan
33. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown + Hurdy Gurdy Man
34. Jingle Jangle + Colonel Cankles
35. The Hollow Man + Dork Matter
36. Hair-Suit Johnny + Musk Man
37. Mr. Spacely + Rum-Bot
38. Wack ‘em Mole + The Escape Goat
39. Corporate Spy Kid + Thespian-age
40. Offal Tower + Scatman Crothers
41. Helen Huntress + Gomer Piles
42. He-Man Love-Woman + The Unmentionables
43. Morbidly Obtuse + Largess
44. Barney the Dinosaur + Baby Bop
45. Emperor Palpitation + The Arrhythmiacs
46. The Horrible Person + The Mistake
47. Desensitizer + Ignore-Raymond
48. Nanny Boo Boo + Bar Nun
49. The Situation + Snookie
50. Numbers + Letters
We at Nerd Odyssey have traversed the multiverse to provide a hypothetical list of villain names that inspire more laughter than fear. This is Part 3 of 4 in our Hero and Villain: Hypothetical Multiverse series.
We again welcome comments from you, the avid reader, as to powers that fit with the names we provide below.
Look for Part 4 next month, in which we create a random hypothetical list of amusing henchman names.
2. The Fishmonger
3. Eenie the Meanie
5. Skid Mark
6. Rainbow Blight
7. The Hamburglar Burglar
8. The Lickin’ Lawyer
9. Bisque Master
11. Danny McBride of Frankenstein
12. The Pickle Wench
13. Scary Busey
14. Robert Q. Zombie
15. The Touch
17. Placebo the Clown
18. Guraknok the Christmas Golem
19. Deadliest Catch
20. The Goo Goo Dolls
21. Blame Game
22. Shark Week
23. The Beast With Two Backs
24. The Paradise Lost Boys
26. Yanni Cage
27. The Mailman of Mordor
28. Chef Voyeur-D
29. Ms. Floppy Arms
30. The Pixie Dust Brothers
32. Bilbo Baggin’ It
33. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
34. Jingle Jangle
35. The Hollow Man
36. Hair-Suit Johnny
37. Mr. Spacely
38. Wack ‘em Mole
39. Corporate Spy Kid
40. Offal Tower
41. Helen Huntress
42. He-Man Love-Woman
43. Morbidly Obtuse
44. Barney the Dinosaur
45. Emperor Palpitation
46. The Horrible Person
48. Nanny Boo Boo
49. The Situation
Upon seeing Spiderman 3, you left the movie theater in a rage, saying statements resembling the following: “For one thing, Venom is supposed to speak in first person plural!”
This is the first in a new series of posts in which we at Nerd Odyssey share real life examples, which remind us that being nerds is part of who we are… for better or worse.
As such, here is the first way to tell that you’re a nerd.
Method 1: You are nearly 30 years old, and you are debating with another adult as to why Batman: The Animated Series was a better show than it’s inferior animated successor, The Batman.