Category Archives: science fiction
In an alternate universe: Event 17 (or “Hey, kid… read the fine print.”)
In an alternate universe, the much-beloved story, Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus, which was Francis P. Church’s response to a girl’s 1897 query to the The New York Sun concerning the existence of Santa Claus, did not gain popularity as a Christmas classic. This was caused by the much darker tone in Church’s alternate universe response, which was titled, Hey, Virginia, Just Who The Hell Have You Been Talking to, Young Lady?
In an alternate universe: Event 7
In an alternate universe, you did not find the movie trailer for the Footloose remake downright horrible, yet tragically funny because it was never made in the first place. Instead, the money was used to produce a Broadway play of the Bill Murray/ Richard Dreyfuss comedy What About Bob?, which went on to become the highest-grossing show in Broadway history.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 92
Not only does your idea of a “fun Thursday night” consist of pizza and streaming episodes of the 1970s horror/ science fiction television series Night Gallery on HULU, but the nearly uncontrollable laughter that you experienced upon watching the segment entitled “The Nature of the Enemy” in Season 1, Episode 3, actually wakes your sleeping dog. What could be so funny as to provoke such a response? Two words, folks: Moon mice.
That’s right… there is an actual segment in this series in which a near-future (as of the 1970s) mission to the moon that is originally supposed to build a “moon base” for NASA, ends up requiring a rescue team to try and find them, as they have gone missing shortly after a garbled transmission claims that they were “under attack”. The rescue team finds no signs that the original group of astronauts are still alive. The team transmits a video feed that shows the wreckage of one of the crafts from the previous mission, as well as a huge platform structure that the “attacked” astronauts apparently constructed from the moon base materials some time after their transmission, but just as the rescue team discovers this platform, they too seem to be attacked by something.
Just after a NASA engineer makes an off-hand comment that the structure resembles a giant mousetrap, the video transmission, which is still functioning, reveals “the enemy”… a gargantuan freaking mouse on the surface of the moon.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 91
Your idea of turning to a “self-help” book is to read a Kurt Vonnegut novel, the validity of which is exemplified from the following line taken from his novel, Cat’s Cradle:
“Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 89
Your first instinct when trying to offer condolescences to someone suffering a personal loss is to point out the following:
“If you stop to think about it, the person you miss is actually alive, well, and prospering by your side… it’s just occuring in an alternate universe.”
You decide against verbalizing that sentiment as few people have, historically, taken such a statement with the warm intent in which it would be offered.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 85
While doing work at home, you realize that you have been silently mouthing entire scenes of dialogue from Terminator 2: Judgment Day, which is playing on a television in the next room.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 81
The main reason you watch the Syfy original series Haven is to catch Stephen King multiverse Easter eggs (hidden references), secretly hoping for as many Dark Tower references as possible. You also think the shows’ chosen depiction of Pennywise the Dancing Clown in his brief appearance was rather lame and disappointing.
In an alternate universe: Event 6
In an alternate universe, politicians in the United States are elected through competition in a specialized academic decathlon, followed by a Medievil-style melee complete with swords.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 78
You have gotten into multiple arguments over the years regarding Star Wars, in which you have stressed the disregard for the laws of physics evident in the technology depicted in the films, as well as argued that the films should be considered “science fantasy” rather than “science fiction.”
In an alternate universe: Event 5
In an alternate universe, the first man who ever rose up to declare, “God has decreed that I should become your ruler and be called a king,” was considered by most people to be out of his mind. Therefore, the idea of kings and divine right never caught on.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 76
Before going into an interview for a public library position, you mentally recited “The Litany Against Fear” from Frank Herbert’s Dune novels, in order to focus yourself.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 73
You consider yourself a browncoat… and you believe that the best thing about Transformers: Dark of the Moon was Alan Tudyk.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 71
An ex-girlfriend bought you a Star Trek T-shirt as a birthday present that was made to resemble Captain Kirk’s uniform from the original series. She then proceeded to tell you, “Ya know, now that I see you in that shirt, it occurs to me that gold isn’t a very flattering color on you.”
Your relationship ended one month later…
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 70
When the Kinect was first announced for the XBox 360, this scene from Back to the Future: Part II immediately came to mind.
In an alternate universe: Event 4
In an alternate universe, all of the Transformers films were written and directed by Christopher Nolan.
In an alternate universe: Event 3
In an alternate universe, the Twilight Saga ends with a team of vampire slayers destroying everyone. In yet another universe, the first book disappeared into obscurity, spawning no sequels.
In an alternate universe: Event 2
In an alternate universe, the majority of people running for political office actually know what they are doing, and seek office to help the public, instead of the opposite being true.
In an alternate universe: Event 1
This is the first of a new series of posts on this, our blog, in which we will put forth possible events that might exist in an alternate universe. Behold!
In an alternate universe, the Harry Potter series ends with an army of wizards from America descending on the scene, defeating Voldemort, and saving the day.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 62
When you are unable to get a certain novel from Amazon.com, you have the book shipped from Great Britain, via Amazon UK.
