Monthly Archives: May 2011
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 46
The following tweet from comedian, @DanaJGould makes you laugh: “The title ‘Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman’ doesn’t really promise a ton of action. ‘Oh my God. They’re gonna meet!’”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 45
Your Facebook page includes quotes from Robert E. Howard, Albert Einstein, Frank Herbert, and George Carlin.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 44
You once had to break up with someone, partly due to your extreme allergy to their pets.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 43
You decide to take revenge on someone who insists on talking about historical facts during a war movie, rather than focusing on actually watching the film, by repeatedly interrupting them with the question, “Hey, is that Bob Crane?”
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 42
You had a lucid dream, which you controlled through a graphical user interface (GUI) that you conjured up during the dream.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 41
Whenever you think of Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament, this scene from the film The Cable Guy comes to mind.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 40
You wish that Facebook would allow users to “Check-In” at hypothetical locations, as you would love nothing more than to post, “Drinking with a Krogan and a Turian on the Citadel.”
Not to forget Tron over Mass Effect, you would also wish to post, “Greetings, programs… heading on over to the End of Line Club.”
Hero and Villain: Hypothetical Multiverse Part 4 (Ridiculous Henchperson Names)
Yet again, we at Nerd Odyssey have scoured the multiverse to provide a hypothetical list of henchmen/ women names that inspire more laughter than fear. This is Part 4 of 4 in our Hero and Villain: Hypothetical Multiverse series, in which we provide the Part 3 villains followed, in bold, by their corresponding henchperson.
We welcome comments from you, the avid reader, as to powers that fit with the names we provide below.
1. Germin’ + Double Dutch, Toil, and Trouble
2. The Fishmonger + Angry Angler
3. Eenie the Meanie + Sticky Vicky
4. cats + kittens
5. Skid Mark + Traitor Vic
6. Rainbow Blight + The Careless Bears
7. The Hamburglar Burglar + The Beaf Thief
8. The Lickin’ Lawyer + Liar Lyre
9. Bisque Master + Sham Chowder
10. Astronaughty + Nebu-lusty
11. Danny McBride of Frankenstein + The Creature of Crab Rangoon
12. The Pickle Wench + Harem Potter
13. Scary Busey + Keanu Reaver
14. Robert Q. Zombie + Simon Scowl
15. The Touch + Numb Crumb
16. Chris-R + AC Slaughter
17. Placebo the Clown + The Nippler
18. Guraknok the Christmas Golem + Kratoki the Jin of Valentine’s Day Deceit
19. Deadliest Catch + The Coal Minor
20. The Goo Goo Dolls + The Spin Doctors
21. Blame Game + Grime Mime
22. Shark Week + Sweeps
23. The Beast With Two Backs + The Horizontal Mambo Kings
24. The Paradise Lost Boys + Corie Shame
25. Peeps + Rude ‘n Plenty
26. Yanni Cage + Sub Gyro
27. The Mailman of Mordor + Marty McFly-Swatter
28. Chef Voyeur-D + The Three Telemarketeers
29. Ms. Floppy Arms + John Jacob Jingleheimer Smite
30. The Pixie Dust Brothers + Chemical Bother
31. Brink! + The Cheap Skater
32. Bilbo Baggin’ It + Mad Cardigan
33. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown + Hurdy Gurdy Man
34. Jingle Jangle + Colonel Cankles
35. The Hollow Man + Dork Matter
36. Hair-Suit Johnny + Musk Man
37. Mr. Spacely + Rum-Bot
38. Wack ‘em Mole + The Escape Goat
39. Corporate Spy Kid + Thespian-age
40. Offal Tower + Scatman Crothers
41. Helen Huntress + Gomer Piles
42. He-Man Love-Woman + The Unmentionables
43. Morbidly Obtuse + Largess
44. Barney the Dinosaur + Baby Bop
45. Emperor Palpitation + The Arrhythmiacs
46. The Horrible Person + The Mistake
47. Desensitizer + Ignore-Raymond
48. Nanny Boo Boo + Bar Nun
49. The Situation + Snookie
50. Numbers + Letters
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 39
Watching this video on physics, as found in the new My Little Pony cartoon, causes great amusement. You are impressed by its shear cleverness, as well.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 38
You view eating lunch at a Thai food restaurant as a prelude celebration of the impending Hangover 2 release.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 37
Upon hearing someone refer to Tron Legacy as essentially nothing more than a 90 minute Daft Punk music video, part of you wanted to slap them with a glove across their cheek and challenge them to a Victorian duel at ten paces, using water balloons.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 36
Every time you see Peter Facinelli’s character, Dr. Fitch Cooper, on the Showtime original series Nurse Jackie, you keep thinking to yourself, “This is what it would’ve been like if Bill Blazejowski had decided to go to medical school.”
* NOTE: Bill Blazejowski is Michael Keaton’s character from the 1982 Ron Howard movie, Night Shift. (If you knew this fact beforehand, and are under the age of 50, you can count this as an additional method for “how to tell you’re a nerd”).
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 35
While standing in line at a grocery store, you suddenly realize that you’re performing small dance moves absentmindedly because a muzak version of Walk Don’t Run by the Ventures is playing in the store, and your body seems to automatically respond to 1960s surf music (even though you’re only in your late 20s).
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 34
You’ve used the word “nerd-gasm” to describe your enthusiasm regarding historical documents.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 33
Upon adding a Bill Hicks stand-up performance to your Netflix Instant Queue, you become extremely offended that Netflix would dare suggest that a Jamie Kennedy DVD was “similar” to Bill Hicks in any way.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 32
This instantly became one of your favorite songs, upon first hearing it.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 31
The first two words in the following television guide description for a showing of the film version of Mortal Kombat cause you to burst out laughing: “Smart Earthlings must win a martial-arts battle in another dimension or see their world enslaved.”
A science fiction PSA
Chances are, if you’re writing a science fiction story about alien invaders that rely on ripping out human brains to power their technology, you are a moron. Yes, writers of the film Skyline, this is directed at you, specifically.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 30
You reward yourself for finishing a graduate school assignment ahead of schedule by staying up all night, playing Mass Effect 2 for the second time, taking advantage of all of the extra missions you downloaded after beating the game the first time around.
How to tell you’re a nerd: Method 29
You find it tragic that Syfy is taking Stargate Universe off of the air, while having the audacity to try and bolster the detritus that is Sanctuary.
